Tackling the task of being a Journal of Ephemeral Inspiration acolyte is no responsibility to take lightly. We're wall-to-wall insight peppered with savory nuggets of shocking ribaldry, with enough focused brilliance ready to burst "big bang-style" from our bodies that we laser-etch pin holes into the back of the urinal when we pee. OK, we're kidding about that last part (mostly).
But we're not inhuman (mostly). We want you to enjoy your reading experience as much as you can, and to that end, we offer your best shot at keeping your head above the foamy tide-- the Friday Round-Up. Now you can wind down your mind-numbing work week with a quick overview of the J.E.I.'s most recent columns. Fly, my pretties, fly...
Of course, you can always just read through the weekly archives to catch up, but we didn't have to tell you that, did we?
LAWRENCEVILLE, GA - With her once-jilted fiance at her side, runaway bride Jennifer Wilbinks pleaded no contest Thursday to a felony charge and wept as she was sentenced to probation, community service and a fine.
She was sentenced to two years of probation and 120 hours of community service. The judge also ordered her to continue mental health treatment and pay the sheriff's office $2,550, in addition to helping the Jedi fight the Trade Federation's droid army.
