RANDY HILL

Hill Design Studios is a Pacific Northwest based multidisciplinary design studio formed in 1986 by Austin, Texas native Randy Hill. Hill Design Studios specializes in developing cross-media branding campaigns that include identity systems, entertainment design, print and web. Clients include, Word Records, Nari Records, Lake Austin Blues Festival, Winthrop Records, Alvin Guggenheim and Associates, Texas Monthly Press and Key magazine.

When did you first decide to become a graphic designer/ illustrator? Was there a pivotal moment?

It seems like I've always been interested in art. I started drawing when I was a young boy growing up in a farming community in central Texas. I was also attracted to typefaces at a pretty young age, which seems strange to me now. I loved looking at old posters and advertisements printed back in the 1800s. Growing up in Texas I was naturally attracted to anything having to do with the old west and country music. Music was another hugely strong influence on my life. I have played drums for various bands over the last 26 years or so. Some of my first design"projects" were for the garage bands I was in. I would come up with the band logo and all of the promotional materials. It just seemed to happen naturally. One of my first really "professional" projects was an album cover design for ABC/Word Records in London in the mid 1970s. One of my early dreams in elementary school was being a set designer for motion pictures. Weird dream for a 9 or 10 year old, huh?

Who or what inspires you?

My wife Dawn is my biggest inspiration. Sounds corny I know, but it's true. She gave me the self confidence to go in directions artistically that I would have never done on my own. I had a terrible self esteem problem when we first got married (31 years ago!) and she has always been my biggest cheerleader. She jokingly tells people that I give her a quarter for every compliment she gives me, but she has really and truly helped to make me what I am today.

Where does your training come from? Self-taught? College/Art School?

I am completely self-taught. I have always tried to consciously make an effort to gain more and more graphic design knowledge whenever and wherever I can. After almost 30 years as a graphic artist I still sometimes feel like a second class citizen compared to someone who has gone to school to gain the experience. A traditional education wasn't meant to be for me and I entered a very long "school of hard knocks." I've worked on just about every imaginable project, LPs, CDs, logos, brochures, books, magazines, posters, websites and billboards. You name the type of project and I've probably worked on it at some point along the line.

How do you keep "fresh" within your industry?

I continually read magazines and books on the subject of graphic design. I love logo design, so I'm always looking at logo books and at various products and their logos. Compact disc design is another favorite of mine. I can spend hours in a book or music store looking at CD covers.

What are some of your current projects?

I just finished a CD project for a new country music artist by the name of "Becca" for Nari Records out of Los Angeles. I am also doing some work for an attorney in Austin, Texas and for a ministry out of Portland,Oregon that works with disadvantaged youth.

Which of your projects are you the most proud of? And why?

I have posted most of my favorite pieces on my website at http://www.hilldesignstudios.com/. I am particularly proud of my logo designs. I did a logo for a pest control company in Austin, Texas back in the 1980s that I thought came out pretty good. You can still see the logo on the side of their trucks today. It's satisfying to me to know that it is still working for them after all these years and I'm not embarrassed when I see it!

Are there any areas, techniques, mediums, projects in your field that you have yet to try?

I have yet to learn Flash. I will learn that application soon. I am a very visual person and theFlash manuals have gotten me absolutely nowhere. I need to actually watch someone working on the software to learn I think.

Any advice to the novice designer/ illustrator?

Always strive to do excellent work. Learn as much as you possibly can at every opportunity. Don't be afraid to try new software or new techniques. Ask questions. Be humble.

What makes a designed piece or illustration successful?

When I think I have arrived at a creative solution and the client agrees. There's nothing like seeing a client get really excited over something that I have come up with. I think it goes without saying that the ultimate test of success is how it performs in the marketplace.

What do you do to keep yourself motivated and avoid burn-out?

Sometime I get so sick of graphic design I could spit. That's when I turn to one of my hobbies to switch mental gears. I love drums. I love genealogy. I'm an avid photography buff. I collect arrowheads. Any one of these creative avenues can turn my burn-out around.

And finally, what is the best thing on prime-time TV right now?

I love the show "Lost." I get bummed whenever I miss an episode. Other than that show, I love old reruns of Andy Griffith and the Twilight Zone. It's hard to beat a good Andy Griffith episode though! I will laugh at it no matter how many times I've seen it.

Related Links:

http://www.hilldesignstudios.com/

Recent Work:

MELISSA MORRIS

Hello, my name is Melissa Morris. I enjoy long walks on the beach, all Apple computer products, and peanut butter flavored ice cream. My turn ons include shopping at AC Moore, hot glue guns, and retractable erasers. My turn offs include making logos bigger, pms 349, and Bikerfox.

On a more serious note, let's talk about hospice. Depressing? Uh, yeah, that's my life. I work as the inhouse designer for a pharmaceutical company that provides medication management to hospices around the country. My target audience? 50 year old hospice nurses. And according to my boss, they can't read anything smaller than 14 pt type. (oh, I am dead serious.) In my spare time, I try to actually do something creative. I went through a stint of making handmade cards. Here's a peek at that: http://www.melissahead.com/store.html But I think what I really need to do is finish my design website, http://www.melissahead.com/, and get myself some portfolio worthy design work!

When did you first decide to become a graphic designer/ illustrator? Was there a pivotal moment?

Absolutely. I went to college to be an elementary school teacher. One day, the summer before my sophomore year, I was a hostess at Applebee's and this young girl came up to me and told me all about her dance recital. After that conversation, I realized I didn't really like kids! So, I was in the market for a new major. I liked to write and I liked to draw. I went back and forth between journalism and design. The only thing that scared me about design was the fact that I hadn't taken an art class since 6th grade, so I felt like I'd be way behind. Turns out I wasn't. I've had no regrets since.

Who or what inspires you?

Great design inspires me. Paging through a CA design annual and thinking about all the things I could do to get myself to that level. And my design friends, of course. They not only inspire me, they actually help me to achieve my goals of bettering myself in my profession.

Where does your training come from? Self-taught? College/Art School?

Like I mentioned earlier, I was a design major in college. I got a BFA in design at The College of New Jersey. Not exactly known for its art program, but I still learned so much. Before that, I didn't have any training, other than elementary school "art" class. Since I was an only child, I had a lot of alone time growing up. Drawing was a way I occupied myself. I remember how I used to create "projects" for myself when I was little. After we got our first computer, I think I was 12 or so, I spent an entire day designing labels for my school books using Paintbrush. Much of what I've learned has been through trial and error....lots of errors.

How do you keep "fresh" within your industry?

The best thing I can do is observe. See what's going on in design books and magazines. See what my friends have been working on lately. Check out some interesting websites, much like this one!

What are some of your current projects?

Nothing good. Everyday it's the same at my job. Clean up someone's powerpoint or whip up some step down brochure in 2 hours. It's nothing that I would be proud of. Of course, the "outside of work" stuff that I'm working on will hopefully be much more fulfilling! I'm really trying to get back into sketching as much as I can. And you know, there's always that whole card-making thing which has sort of been on hold for now. I'm determined to build up my portfolio and since I'm not getting any portfolio-worthy work from my job, I need to create some projects.

Which of your projects are you the most proud of? And why?

I don't know if I've ever done anything I was really proud of. There were some school projects that I enjoyed, but nothing that I would be like, "Hey! You gotta see this!" about. I did this sketch a few days ago (and it's now my forum avatar), but I kind of like the way it turned out. Just something done quickly:

And the other day I made a few postcards. I just love sitting at a table with scissors, glue, ribbon and going to town. Sometimes I feel like I'm more of a "crafter" than a designer.

Are there any areas, techniques, mediums, projects in your field that you have yet to try?

Uh yeah, like everything! Anything not related to hospice! I'll tell ya, those pharmacists and nurses are nice and all, but they've got some ugly taste! I'd love to do something cool for once. Something modern. Something actually designed instead of thrown together. Something with an unlimited budget! ;-) One thing that I really want to try is screen printing. I don't know how to do it, or even how it works, but it seems like something I could have a lot of fun with.

Any advice to the novice designer/ illustrator?

Be humble. It hurts to get a critique sometimes, but people that have been in the business a while do know better than you...no matter what you may think! I'm still a novice, but when I look back even a few years I think to myself, oh god, why did I ever think it was a good idea to use that typeface!

What makes a designed piece or illustration successful?

When it gets the approval of other designers? Haha, just kidding. Actually, I'm not sure. This is one that I can't really explain. I can see if I like the way something looks, aesthetically, but that doesn't necessarily mean it's following proper design rules or anything. I hope to learn the answer to this question eventually. It could help me out.

What do you do to keep yourself motivated and avoid burn-out?

I can't avoid burn-out. In fact, I'm at that point right now. My solution has been to sketch, relax, get some alone time, find myself. It's almost impossible to not let work stress you out, and I need to learn to leave work at work. But I'm trying. I also try to think about my goals. There are places I'd like to be eventually. I won't give myself a timeline, but I'll tell you this, I'm not staying at this company forever!

And finally, what is the best thing on prime-time TV right now?

Hmm, tough call. Well, I'd have to say, as embarrassing as it is, I'm an OC addict. Watch that show once and you're hooked! But I'm a big fan of Scrubs and the Family Guy. Although while it's baseball season, I don't get much control of the remote.

Related Links:

http://www.melissahead.com/
http://www.melissahead.com/store.html

Friday Round-Up: September 9, 2005

All in all, not a bad week, though though we've got more posts on deck than put to bed than we'd like. But there's one shiny bit of coolness in the otherwise humdrum muck of late summer-- The mighty J.E.I. has a mention on Lisa Marr's site. It doesn't get much better than that.

So enjoy your weekend; we'll be back with more hilarity. Oh, and Jimmy Olsen's due back from his summer vacation next week. Maybe we can get Superman to squeeze his coal in to a journalistic diamond... anyway, here's the Friday Round-Up.

Advertising As authentic as anything else we do. You Won't Believe What They Paid For This Ad... (KFU) Pencil Portraits By Chris Hey! It's Another Snotty Ad Parody! (GM Employee Discount) We Feel So Cheap... (Me, Meat Loaf Body Splash Pour Homme) They Swear The Check Is In The Mail... (Surely Hemphill Parfum) We've Gotta Pay The Bills Somehow... (Lithgow Cologne) We'll Be Back After These Messages... (Orleans Horse Meat Dog Food) And Now A Word From Our Sponser... (The High Roller's Club of Monte Carlo) Bad Art We don't know a lot about art but we know what we hate. Bumble Bee & A Blue Flower Sheep With A Barn Jesus Out To Lunch Scary Tree Correction A.K.A "Please withdraw your lawsuit." We Don't Dwell On Your Mistakes. Editorial Opinions are like bellybuttons: a useless deforming scar. Missing Commandments (part 6) Missing Commandments (part 5) Missing Commandments (part 4) Missing Commandments (part 3) Missing Commandments (part 2) Missing Commandments (part 1) Truth In Advertising So Much For Buying Respect Food Horrible Food Ephemedia Nifty graphics, sounds and video guaranteed to crash your computer. First Draft Marketing II First Draft Marketing I Lennon/Lemmon/Spacey/Reiser Ephemereviews Those who can't do, review. Aquabats, Plimsouls & New Pornographers Feature Articles Finally, some meat on this bone. The Secret Files Of Jimmy Olsen (part 6) The Secret Files Of Jimmy Olsen (part 5) The Secret Files Of Jimmy Olsen (part 4) The Secret Files Of Jimmy Olsen (part 3) The Secret Files Of Jimmy Olsen (part 2) The Secret Files Of Jimmy Olsen (part 1) Food Of The Gods Would that we could eat like them. Pocky, Pretz & Pretenders IV Pocky, Pretz & Pretenders III Pocky, Pretz & Pretenders II Pocky, Pretz & Pretenders I The Fool's Gold Loaf For Sale Caveat Emptor. Seriously. The Handsomest Ken Ever! Refreshing Prayer Candles A Message To Other Criminal Guitars Murdercedes Hot Or Not? Celebrities ridicule the insecure. Fun. James Brown... Well, We're Not Really Sure Let's Hear From James Brown Jerry Lewis Has Had Enough Jerry Lewis Keeps It Real Jerry Lewis Knows Illiterature Because reading is fundemental. Harry Potter & The Big Fat Payday Science Fictionology That Island Over There With The Trees Tom Wiffloo & The Lonesome Hangnail The Uncut Bible Lost & Found Uniting keepers and weepers. Extra-Krispy Kreme Strap On... Strap Off... Innappropriate [sic] Language

Lost TV Untold tales of the glowing glass teat. Sanford & Son The Dukes of Hazzard Match Game PM M*A*S*H The Munsters Hogan's Heroes The Andy Griffith Show Wild Kingdom News Stop the presses. Fall 2005 J.E.I. Interns Pat Robertson Surprised At Fuss, Sets Record Straight The Least Litigious Place On Earth Cartoon World Mourns Death Of Jabberjaw Olympics & Pans Mississippi No Longer Burning, Itching Persists Get Away From Her, You Bi-yotch! Alba's Nipple Fulfills Red Carpet Duties Runaway Bride Pleads No Contessa To Felony Sit Down, American Idol, We Need To Talk Vatican Fast-Tracks John Paul II Sainthood, Issues Commemorative Cookie Jar Tough Break, Chekov You Was Robbed, Dawg Your Next American Idol And A Habemus Papam To You! Poetry There once was a girl from Nantucket... The Wind & The Bird Remember, George, No Man Is A Failure Who Has Friends... The Savage Breast Music, not boobs. Master It! Science! What she blinded us with. Seriously, What The Hell? There Is No God Seal Of Approval Sites that don't suck so much. The J.E.I. Seal Of Approval XII The J.E.I. Seal Of Approval XI The J.E.I. Seal Of Approval X The J.E.I. Seal Of Approval IX The J.E.I. Seal Of Approval VIII The J.E.I. Seal Of Approval VII The J.E.I. Seal Of Approval VI The J.E.I. Seal Of Approval V The J.E.I. Seal Of Approval IV The J.E.I. Seal Of Approval III The J.E.I. Seal Of Approval II The J.E.I. Seal Of Approval I Storytime Corner Once upon a time... . A Wee Nancy Story A Thousand Words What a picture is worth, depending on exchange rates. This Looks Like A Job For Letterman Tonytown Full Frontal Green Pepper Like Sacks Of Wet Cement The Love God Press Button, Receive Bacon Yes Sir Problem Solved Not Electric, It Is Pleasant We Couldn't Agree More Watercooler Intercepted communications amongst the staff. Pot Yuck Wish List Or, as Black Flag said, "Gimme gimme gimme." Batman TV Show Shakespeare Bust Hieronymus Bosch Pooping Devil-Bird Action Figure El Santo Vs. Las Mujeres Vampiro! The Real Batmobile Shag Disneyland Prints Batgirl Barbie Bible Bars Tie Fighter Desk Karatist Preacher

Insania Fragilis, Fectum Dubitabilis!

Ephemereviews: Aquabats, Plimsouls & New Pornographers

We understand. You want to hear some cool new music, but the choices can be overwhelming. What's good? What's crap? Well belay that consternation, Timmy, The mighty J.E.I. is here to help with our latest and greatest column, Ephemereviews.

OK, the pun is a bit of a stretch, but the love is there. Click the covers to see what Amazon has to say, or visit the record label sites listed at the end of each review.

Charge!! The Aquabats! Closing in fast on half a dozen albums in their oeuvre, this time out The Aquabats! decide to play it lean and mean. The ska horn section may be gone, but the guitar-driven music is still fun, catchy, and true to their superhero/sci-fi/Mexican wrestler/nerd rock style. Every song title ends in an exclamation point; that should tell you all you need to know. Nitro Records.
One Night In America: Live! The Plimsouls If you were a complex multi-celled being in the early '80s (i.e., more than just a sperm and egg), you probably recall "A Million Miles Away," the most ubiquitous radio and movie soundtrack (Valley Girl, The Last American Virgin) hit from The Plimsouls. But like The Knack, Cheap Trick and other guitar rock bands lost in the sea of synthy '80s new wave, The Plimsouls were best heard live. So here's your chance until the boys down in the lab get the flux capacitor into the Delorean to send you back to 1981. Oglio Records.
Twin Cinema The New Pornographers The third album by Canada's alt/indy/eclectic pop rock darlings, "Twin Cinema" picks right up from where the brilliant "Mass Romantic" and "Electric Version" left off. A.C. Newman writes amazingly intelligent and beautifully crafted songs that rival XTC, Elvis Costello, and Brian Wilson before the meltdown. You'll wonder how something so dense and complex can sound so simple and right. Matador Records.

There, we've done your thinking for you; doesn't that feel better? We'll be back from time to time with more J.E.I.-approved music, movies and such, so have those wallets at the ready.

JEFF FISHER

Jeff Fisher, the Engineer of Creative Identity for the Portland, OR-based firm Jeff Fisher LogoMotives, has worked as a graphic design professional since the late 1970's. In 1995 he shifted the focus of his design work to identity design. He has since received over 475 regional, national and international graphic design awards for his logo and corporate identity efforts and his work has been featured in more than 75 publications on the design of logos, the business of graphic design, and small business marketing.The designer spends a great deal of time writing about aspects of design for industry publications and related web sites. He often speaks to student groups, business organizations and design conferences about the profession. Fisher is a member of the HOW Magazine Editorial Advisory Board and is also on the 2006 HOW Design Conference Advisory Council. His book, “The Savvy Designer's Guide to Success ( http://tinyurl.com/5o7ud ),” was released by HOW Design Books in late 2004. More information about Jeff Fisher LogoMotives is available at http://www.jfisherlogomotives.com


When did you first decide to become a graphic designer/ illustrator? Was there a pivotal moment?

From the time I was a young boy I was interested in drawing and painting. In high school I was the first student in the city to be put on independent study in art - which included silkscreen printing, jewelry design, pottery, painting and other forms. As a high school senior, in 1974, I came across a copy of Milton Glaser's new book "Graphic Design." The book gave a name to what I really wanted to do in regards to a potential career - and showed doubters that an individual could make a very decent living in such a profession.


Who or what inspires you?

Milton Glaser is probably the first designer who truly inspired me with his work - and it still has the same impact on me over 30 years later. Paul Rand, Art Chantry, Saul Bass, Ivan Chermayeff & Tom Geismar, Nigel Holmes, Seymour Chwast, Michael Schwab, and Rick Tharp have been great influences on my work and career. My college instructor Roy Paul Nelson provided me more inspiration than he will ever realize. I also get a lot of inspiration from the magazines I browse on a regular basis, travel, books I read, movies I view, art, my passion for gardening, and traveling around the world. The influence of foreign travel often seems to appear subconsciously in some future projects.


Where does your training come from? Self-taught? College/Art School?

Initially much of my drawing skills were self taught. The study of various art disciplines in high school provided a great base for my college education. At the University of Oregon I entered the graphic design track within the Fine Arts school - and was immediately frustrated by the restrictions of the faculty and the focus of many on their personal projects/interests. I considered quitting school until a friend suggested I speak with Roy Paul Nelson, a professor in the Journalism School. Nelson, who wrote the books "Design of Advertising" and "Publication Design" (among others) encouraged me to take the Journalism course work, which included ad design, publication design, cartooning, typography and other classes. I was also required to take journalistic writing, public relations writing, advertising copywriting and additional courses that have always been valuable in my work. At the same time, I maintained my Art History studies, including courses in architecture history, furniture design, interior design and museology. While in college I had an internship in exhibit design at the university's Museum of Art and was the graphic designer for the advertising department of the daily college newspaper.


How do you keep "fresh" within your industry?

The "freshness" comes my way in the variety of projects. Prior to focusing on identity design I found myself getting bogged down by projects such as initially designing a publication and then producing it for at least a couple years. The jobs began to feel as if a chimpanzee could be trained to execute them and I was not challenged as a designer. Each new identity project brings a whole new set of requirements and challenges with it. Many times such projects are an introduction to an industry that is foreign to me. Literally having a global marketplace for my work, via the Internet, adds to keeping my work "fresh" after 27 years.


What are some of your current projects?

These days my work seems to be divided between writing and design. In addition to the never-ending, behind-the-scenes update of my own website, I am currently working on identity designs for a play, a deli, a motivational program for women and others. I typically design between 30 and 40 logos a year for a variety of organizations and businesses. I also write the monthly "Logo Notions" column for CreativeLatitude.com and contribute articles each month to the marketing web site Commpiled.com. In addition, I am currently writing articles for the sites CreativeRefuge.com and DiversityBuilder.com. Three different publishers have also expressed interest in having me write future books.


Which of your projects are you the most proud of? And why?

The projects bringing me the greatest personal satisfaction are often the ones bringing me little, or no, income. There are a great many non-profit efforts I have completed over the years that have resulted in a lot of good being done for causes in which I have strong convictions or personal interests. I’d rather work for free with a nonprofit client in whose cause I truly believe, than for a big budget client I don’t like.

Are there any areas, techniques, mediums, projects in your field that you have yet to try?

At some point I would like to get involved directly with letterpress printing. It's always enjoy designing for letterpress and it is a real interest of mine. I would also like to get back to some of the art mediums in which I have worked in the past for pleasure and profit - drawing, painting, silkscreen printing, wood and linoleum block printing, pottery, raku, jewelry making and stained glass work. I feeling a real desire to spend some time and energy focusing on the fine arts at this stage in my career.


Any advice to the novice designer/ illustrator?

"Work less, charge more" is the advice I gave the audience of a session at the HOW Design Conference in New Orleans a few years ago - and I was serious about that comment. Most designers, or illustrators, initially (and continuously) undervalue their own work, and because of that fact find themselves having to work much longer - and much harder - to make a living. I also feel that designers should learn as much as possible, in traditional education situations or through self learning, about the business of design. Too many novices focus on what they consider the artistic aspects of what is actually an industry and career option. It's great to make things pretty. However, in the process you need to be able to make a living. One of the best ways to learn how (or how not) to be successful as a design business person is to spent some time working for someone else. In addition, to be successful in design or illustration I feel an individual must have a historical context for their work. Unfortunately, too few schools teach a solid history of design or illustration, and it is necessary for the student, or novice, to seek out much of that historical perspective on their own. I am constantly amazed how few graphic designers have an educated understanding of typography. For many, typography is simply font manipulation using a computer program - and it comes across in less than ideal design. I would also recommend that the novice not place restrictions or limitations on themselves and their career efforts. Clients, and others, will do enough of that for them. I often get emails from industry professionals expressing their frustration at not being able to find work or project in their local market. My first question - "Why are you limiting yourself to the local market? - is often something they have not even considered. Be a sponge; be constantly absorbing all that is available to learn about the business of design, the history of design, typography and other aspects of the profession. As I often say, "the real world will kick you in the ass as you walk out those school doors for the last time - and your design education will finally begin."


What makes a designed piece or illustration successful?

There are several different levels of success to be considered with any design or illustration effort. The work needs to meet the requirements/goals of the client for whom it was created. The piece should also move the viewer to act/react in the desired manner. Then there is also the personal satisfaction of a job well done. The "gravy" is being recognized for the work with design awards or inclusion in an industry related book.


What do you do to keep yourself motivated and avoid burn-out?

In the mid-1990's I was experiencing a major career burn-out due to having taking on all design projects coming my way for the previous 17 years. In a conversation with my sister, the owner of an ad agency and public relations firm, she made the simple statement "Why aren't you doing what you enjoy the most?" Her off-the-cuff comment resulted in my primary focus changing to logo and identity design - an aspect of design I had thoroughly enjoyed since high school. My favorite forms of "self therapy," gardening and travel, are great tools in helping to avoid major burnout. Time spent writing and speaking also breaks up any monotony in my work and presents new creative outlets.


And finally, what is the best thing on prime-time TV right now?

I really don't watch a great deal of prime-time television. "The West Wing" is one of the few shows I watch on a regular basis. My new recent favorite show to be Tivo-ed weekly is chef/author Anthony Bourdain's "No Reservations" on the Travel Channel. I tend to watch a variety of shows on PBS, HGTV, the Food Network and a great many movies on DVD.


Related Links:

www.jfisherlogomotives.com

Wish List: Batman TV Show Shakespeare Bust

Though we're not the first fan boys to drool over this kitschy gem, we've had our eye on it for years (but the $300 price tag has always kept it just out of reach of the impulse buy column). Of course, we're talking about the fantastic secret Batpole access switch Shakespeare bust from the Batman TV show.

Bronze-finished and almost two feet tall, with a hinged head that reveals a retro Bakelite switch that controls an AC outlet, this mofo isn't just a prop; it has almost unlimited uses.

Plug in anything to it-- have it switch on a lamp or power up your entire music studio; wire it to open a garage door or flick on a blender, whatever-- it's just effing cool, and we want one. Now all we have to find is the dial-less light-up red batphone on a cake plate...


Also in this series...

• Hieronymus Bosch Pooping Devil-Bird Action Figure
• El Santo Vs. Las Mujeres Vampiro!
• The Real Batmobile
• Shag Disneyland Prints
• Batgirl Barbie
• Bible Bars
• Tie Fighter Desk
• Karatist Preacher

Food Of The Gods: Pocky, Pretz & Pretenders IV

Just when we think we're out...

We swear, we thought we were done, but thanks to a weekend stock replenishment at our local Han Ah Reum Asian market, we're back in the Pocky review business. Oh well. Somebody's gotta do it.

By the way, if you haven't done so, take a look at our Flickr gallery, "Pocky, Pretz & Pretenders" to see hundreds of flavor and packaging versions of Pocky and it's ilk. Why? Why not? Don't cost nothin'...

But enough babbling, let's get on with the show. We proudly present round (and please god let it be the last for a while) four of the J.E.I. Pocky Taste Test.

		Giant Chocolate Pocky (Chocolate covered giant biscuit sticks) Unlike the kind of pointless Giant Strawberry Pocky, Giant Chocolate Pocky is pretty enjoyable. Oh, it's still a novelty and definitely not an everyday Pocky, but the flavor is good and it could be a hit at dinner parties. Just be prepared to lay out about $12 per box (50¢ per stick).
		Cheesecake Pocky (Cheesecake-flavored covered biscuit sticks) Flavor-wise, not unlike its curdled dairy cousin Yogurt Pocky. But despite the accurate flavor, the texture of the coating is a little waxy, and the sticks don't have the golden toasted color of regular Chocolate Pocky. For us, Cheesecake Pocky finishes in the middle of the pack.
		Chocolate Mousse Pocky (Whipped chocolate covered biscuit sticks) We figured much of our lackluster response to Green Tea Mousse Pocky was due to the fact that while we like green tea, it's not really on our sweets radar (once we determined the flavor was much like vanilla, we could deal with it). But we had a similar "blah" response to Chocolate Mousse Pocky. The thicker coating just isn't creamy like you'd expect, and the milk chocolate flavor is extremely weak (more aftertaste than taste). You get more of a hit of greasy cocoa butter than actual chocolate, and man, that ain't cool. Not worth the extra yen.
		Garden Pretz (Vegetable-flavored biscuit sticks) The vegetarian version of Crispy Pizza Pretz. Salty and satisfying; definitely earns a spot on the repeat buy list.
		Chocolate Pepero (Chocolate covered biscuit sticks) Another pathetic offering from Korea's Lotte. Foul-smelling and even worse tasting, we sampled one stick then deep-sixed the rest. Putrid.
		Hello Kitty Chocolate (Chocolate dip and roast sesame biscuit sticks) Like Yan Yan, a do-it-your-selfer Pocky kit: Biscuit sticks and a stingy cup of chocolate frosting-like dip. But the dip is synthetic-tasting, and not at all pleasant. We know some of you have a Hello Kitty jones and just have to buy anything with the little freak's mug on it, but do yourself a favor, if you must have a biscuit/dip kit, stick to Yan Yan.
		Hello Kitty Strawberry (Strawberry flavored dip and biscuit sticks) As above, but with a horrible strawberry-flavored dip. Not worth the money.

Seriously, we're taking a Pocky break. It's not that we're off the stuff; quite the opposite, we have our favorites and we still enjoy them. But we're tired of the hunt, the game. We want to go back to s simpler time when Pocky made us smile.

So take the knowledge we've imparted to you and find your own favorite Pocky. Tell us about it. Or don't... because honestly, no one really cares. Sorry if that's a little harsh, kitten, but you gotta grow up sometime.


Also in this series...

• Pocky, Pretz & Pretenders III
• Pocky, Pretz & Pretenders II
• Pocky, Pretz & Pretenders I
• The Fool's Gold Loaf